Two indie schmucks who didn’t turn out so bad. Best technical wrestlers around, in my opinion. Need I say more?
It’s summer again.
You might be wondering where I’ve been.
I graduated. From high school. That suck of an institution, in reality. Been on a Stephen King frenzy. I’ve only really read him last summer, but it seems that all I want to do now is buy all his works. I just finished Different Seasons, and I’m just starting in on Blaze. I’d probably proceed to Dolores Claiborne. I don’t know what’s up with me. Don’t know what’s up with this blog. Or with music. Or with today’s literature. Or even with wrestling.
That last one strikes such a bad chord. Two months ago, Jack TV removed WWE from their network. At first, it was just a “satellite-thing”. But then weeks piled up and everyone lost all hope. You should see their Facebook page – it is completely littered with WWE fans ranting about the loss of the program and the establishment of seemingly suckish shows that could never get Jack ratings.
I don’t think Jack TV will bring back WWE. With Walking Dead, Criminal Minds, NCIS, Family Guy on their team, I’m rooting for FOX now. They already released a teaser for WWE. I’ve been rather hopeful. But it’s taking too long. Yesterday, out of sentimental reasons, I actually turned the pages of my December 2010 copy of the WWE Magazine to the Body Shop and worked out like Dolph Ziggler, thinking, I just want to watch wrestling on my goddamn cable, goddamnit.
Anyway, I’m keeping track of the events that I have missed since WWE was unjustly torn off my cable. Lots of props to Jack TV for this.
Whatever happened to Eve and Zack Ryder?
The Miz on Psych
Santino Marella winning the United States Championship
Eve’s heel turn, of course
Team Teddy vs. Team Johnny
UNDERTAKER VS. TRIPLE H VS. HBK
BROCK LESNAR’S RETURN
That’s about it. Fuck Jack TV.
I can’t believe that I missed one of these again. This is the third time that I did. The first time I got excited over a wrestling franchise coming here to the Philippines was six years ago: I was ten years old and was very much obsessed with the show. And since we were quite “well-off” during those days (my parents initially considered it, too!), I was also pretty darn sure that we would go.
But then, as the event drew near, a tragic stampede occurred at the ULTRA in Pasig City, wherein the shockingly popular suck-ass local gameshow, Wowowee, was celebrating its first anniversary. With less than 80 people killed and 400 impaled, any plans that involved going to hotels, theaters, coliseums, or anything that requires quarantine in populated areas were postponed. So, I ended up listening to depressing news as my favorite wrestlers dominated Araneta two weeks later. I, of course, still have a distinct and utter dislike for Willie Revillame and for those dumbasses who worked for him at that time. I believe that that was my first dream that someone else shattered.
Anyway, I was in Manila yesterday and I wish I had passed by Ayala because there was a meet-and-greet with the WWFX rosters. I don’t care if they’re not in the WWE anymore or if they’re not such big stars now. I just want to see wrestling live. By the way, I still have no idea what Colt Cabana was doing there.
Kane is back. He’s totally badass again (he has a mask!). And for the past weeks, Kane, for some reason, has been at John Cena’s heels. This week, not only did he divulge his motive, but he also enlightened us about life, tackling the topic of “hate”. Why is it okay? Why do we do it? OMG, so much to learn! Here’s what he had to say (you can quote him on it):
You asked them to ‘rise above hate’, but that’s a fallacy. This world is a dark dark place. It’s okay to hate. Humans are hateful by nature. Deep down, eveybody hates. Why rise above it when the natural impulse is to embrace it, to let it consume you? People hate. They hate their bosses. They hate their neighbors. They hate their spouses. They hate their miserable existence. Rise above? That’s a fraudulent myth perpetuated by you! Hate is the seed from which we are all born. It drives us. It motivates us. It fuels our impulses. And I know that you feel it, John. You feel it swimming underneath your skin like a thousand insects eating away at you. But once you embrace the hate, you become honest with yourself. You become free. Free. What you fail to realize, John, is that with your denial, you grow weaker by the moment. And until you embrace that which you deny, you can never be truly free.
Aw, Kane wasn’t so bad after all. He even offered Cena a path to enlightenment. Who knows, maybe Cena would eventually side with this new, mask, slow-speaking, never-smiling Kane. I’d like to see that happen.
RAW was great this week. It always is when they’re in a sold-out Chicago stadium. Wishful thinking: I would someday like to be part of that crowd. For the meantime, I’m leaving you with a backstage interview of the very hot Dolph Ziggler as he muses about his win against CM Punk, 2012, and Rubik’s cubes. Watch it here.
The Glamazon, Beth Phoenix. I was interested the first time I saw her, and during that time (it might have been 2006 then), the best female wrestlers before her were already perishing. Beth, I think, is one of those few divas that I could completely relate to. Not the prettiest or the leanest, but definitely the most dominant and is championship-material. I give women a lot of credit for the great things that they do in this world, and believe me, I give Beth Phoenix a whole lot of credit in her career. She strove her way to be on top, and now that she has gotten there, she continues to be great at it. She joined the Royal Rumble (like Jacqueline – also a favorite!), and actually eliminated The Great Khali (by means of seduction, might I add)!
Beth Phoenix is just awesome. Right now, I don’t see anyone else (aside from Natalya and Kharma) who could top her off. She’s darn wicked, never a bore. She embodies a strong presence and prevailing in-ring skills. She’s the champion as of the moment, and I believe she’s going to be just that for a long time.
First thing Monday morning – I turned on the television to Jack TV’s live telecast of WWE TLC. I have to wonder why Dre would want to pass up on it. I thought the lineup was good. John Cena wasn’t on the show, which was odd because before, a lot of people – and I mean A LOT – paid good money to see him in the main events. Anyway, with that quick verity in check, I put the telly on display like I would a radio, heard the Philippines mentioned by Michael Cole, and in a span of three hours, we had our CHAMPIONS crowned.
1. United States Champion (Woo-nited States Champion): Zack Ryder
Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder. This match. Zack’s kewl and Dolph’s sexy. I like both guys, so I found the match rather interesting. Not to mention, the fans in Baltimore were totally hyped the entire night. I remember retweeting Zack’s “@DolphZiggler Tonight at TLC I will #fistpumpyourface” before the show began. There would have been a riot had Zack lost. So who better come out victorious but the Long Island Iced Z himself, Zack Ryder? WOO WOO WOO YOU KNOW IT BRO!!! It takes sheer hardwork and one social media revolution to make this well-deserved Crimmus miracle happen. Here’s Zack’s dad telling the whole world of how proud he is of our favorite new US champion. So are we, Papa Broski.
2. WWE Tag Team Champions: Air Boom
I did appreciate Michael Cole dictating a rundown of why Air Boom was bound to face Primo and Epico at TLC because I really have no clue how this happened. Did this all set in motion in SmackDown! (because I’m not much of a SmackDown!-guy)? I’m guessing that I just haven’t been paying much attention to the tag team division these days. We need more, please. Anyway, heard Air Boom’s great. Hooray, Kofi and Evan!
3. Divas Champion: Beth Phoenix
THAT’S RIGHT, YOU GO SISTAH! And was it just me or were Kelly Kelly fans completely dead during this match? Whatever. We all love Beth, and Beth’s fans are solid, yo. Hope she stays champion for the longest time because she’s amazing and because I wouldn’t want any of Kelly’s cohorts as champions. Eve better turn on the dark side because I like her as well, and WE JUST CAN’T HAVE HER NEXT TO KELLYasdfghjkl;
4. World Heavyweight Champion: Daniel Bryan
I really like Bryan Danielson and his massive Internet fanbase. Shame on you Michael Cole because here is your Heavyweight Champion!!!111! That’s right! And just so you know, I never paid attention to the Big Show vs. Mark Henry match until Bryan Danielson’s entrance song came up, and I found him running to the ring with his MITB briefcase. And just like that, SHOW’S OVER – even though he never really cashed in the briefcase at Wrestlemania like he said he would. But hey, plans change, it happens all the time. Hooray for Daniel Bryan and ha-ha on those who thought he could never make it as far. I smell a giant under loose for the title though.
5. Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes
What the hell. He had a match?! I’M KEPT IN THE DARK!
6. WWE Champion: CM Punk
Well la-di-da. Of course, here is your WWE Champion, CM PUNK. Best match of the night, in my opinion. I mean, he was handcuffed twice – and one of those was to a turnbuckle – and he escaped BOTH times! It was a brutal match. And Punk survived it all. And he’s STILL our WWE Champion, so ha-ha on you and your dethronement attempts, Funkman. And with this, CM Punk leads a revolution with his friends.
So what’s going to happen when you’ve got two so-called “indy schmucks” on top of the WWE food chain? Seeing the main event picture on last night’s RAW made me guffaw just a bit. On one side, we had CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, and Zack Ryder, and on another were Miz, Del Rio, and Dolph Ziggler. So… this is what had become of the WWE. Very nice. I have a feeling that we’re not going to see much of the Cena’s and Triple H’s and Rock’s in the season.
Kudos to independent wrestling. NYWC. ROH. GLORY. Take over.
For all that you were, for all that you gave, for being a big part of my childhood, thank you, Eddie. It hasn’t been the same without you. May you rest in peace.
Viva la Raza.
Life turns on a dime. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring… sure, life would be a lot easier if we knew what was going to happen. You’ve got to live by faith one day at a time.
― Eddie Guerrero, Cheating Death, Stealing Life: The Eddie Guerrero Story