Tag Archives: Kane

Why We Shouldn’t Rise Above Hate (Life According to Kane)

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Keep away from the big, red, hateful man.

Kane is back. He’s totally badass again (he has a mask!). And for the past weeks, Kane, for some reason, has been at John Cena’s heels. This week, not only did he divulge his motive, but he also enlightened us about life, tackling the topic of “hate”. Why is it okay? Why do we do it? OMG, so much to learn! Here’s what he had to say (you can quote him on it):

You asked them to ‘rise above hate’, but that’s a fallacy. This world is a dark dark place. It’s okay to hate. Humans are hateful by nature. Deep down, eveybody hates. Why rise above it when the natural impulse is to embrace it, to let it consume you? People hate. They hate their bosses. They hate their neighbors. They hate their spouses. They hate their miserable existence. Rise above? That’s a fraudulent myth perpetuated by you! Hate is the seed from which we are all born. It drives us. It motivates us. It fuels our impulses. And I know that you feel it, John. You feel it swimming underneath your skin like a thousand insects eating away at you. But once you embrace the hate, you become honest with yourself. You become free. Free. What you fail to realize, John, is that with your denial, you grow weaker by the moment. And until you embrace that which you deny, you can never be truly free.

Aw, Kane wasn’t so bad after all. He even offered Cena a path to enlightenment. Who knows, maybe Cena would eventually side with this new, mask, slow-speaking, never-smiling Kane. I’d like to see that happen.

RAW was great this week. It always is when they’re in a sold-out Chicago stadium. Wishful thinking: I would someday like to be part of that crowd. For the meantime, I’m leaving you with a backstage interview of the very hot Dolph Ziggler as he muses about his win against CM Punk, 2012, and Rubik’s cubes. Watch it here.

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Slammy’s, Tumblr and Preoccupation

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Edge and Christian make me extremely happy. Their meet at the Slammy’s was highly amusing. Edge didn’t like his award. Christian thought del Rio should have received it. This photo is too beautiful to just keep on my Tumblr account. D’oh, yes, I have a Tumblr account now. For months, I’ve been haunted with the decision of creating an account as such. Bet seems to get the hang of it. I, on the other hand, didn’t seem to know what I’d put in it once I do get an account. But soon enough, I found the light. My motive for that one is to post photos of past and current WWE heels, just for the heck of it. It’s sort of fascinating actually. I gained around twenty-five followers on the first two days that I started. I like my first days in Tumblr.

But I love this blog.

And I wrote that with a straight face. Can you imagine saying/writing the word ‘love’ with a straight face? That’s badass.

Here is the list of winners for the 2010 Slammy Awards (it’s ages late, I know):

  • Superstar of the Year: John Cena (wow, *big surprise* there, buddy – considering that it’s been a hellacious year for you. Have I mentioned that he got fired?)
  • Diva of the Year: Michelle McCool (what happened to the “Lay” part? >_>)
  • WWE Moment of the Year: The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania XXVI
  • WWE “Oh Snap” Meltdown of the Year: Edge destroys the anonymous GM’s computer
  • Shocker of the Year: The Nexus debuts
  • Despicable Me Award: CM Punk sings Happy Birthday to Rey Mysterio’s daughter
  • Holy %&^*%& of the Year: John Cena’s Attitude Adjustment on Batista through the stage
  • Guest Star Shining Moment: Pee-wee Herman vs. The Miz (REALLY INFINITY, ftw!!!!!1111!!!11!!!1!)
  • Knucklehead Moment of the Year: Lay-Cool gets beat by Mae Young
  • WWE Universe Fan Reaction: “Angry Miz Girl” Cayley (lucky kid. She’s already appeared on RAW TWICE)
  • “And I Quote…” Line of the Year: Michael Cole (I’m sure)

And here are the supplementary awards that I think you should also know of:

  • Best Performance by a Winged Specimen: Monday Night Raw chicken
  • Most Menacing Haircut: Tyler Reks
  • Best Family Values: Kane destroys Jack Swagger Sr. as his son looks on
  • Superstar/Diva Most in Need of Makeup: Sheamus (hey, now Sheamus has an award!)
  • The “Cole in Your Stocking” Award: Daniel Bryan attacks Michael Cole on WWE NXT (I love that. We had a blog entry for that. c:)
  • Outstanding Achievement in Baby Oil Application: “Dashing” Cody Rhodes (not Randy Orton?! D:)
  • Frequent Tweeter Award: Goldust
  • Best WWE.com Exclusive TV Show: WWE NXT (What?! RAW was robbed!)
  • Most Annoying Catchphrase: Zack Ryder for “Woo, woo, woo, you know it.” (which is NOT really annoying)

Kane: I Have A Great Family Life!

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Now why doesn't Edge believe that?

Gasp! Kane is human. Here is an actual proof from Friday Night SmackDown!. We shall forever cherish this shocking revelation for the rest of our lives.

Two weeks ago, Edge abducted the one thing that means more to me than the World Heavyweight Title. The one thing that means more to me than my own life. Edge abducted Paul Bearer. And then last week, Edge humiliated me and Paul Bearer in his perverted games of cat and mouse. He mentally tortured Paul Bearer, forcing him to play dodge ball and smother him in pizza and buffalo wings. And worse than all of that, Edge used Paul Bearer as bait, trying to lure me into a trap. And then at Survivor Series, just when I thought the roof was up, Edge taunts me with an empty wheelchair, trying to distract me from successfully defending my title. Yet despite all of this, I stand before you still World Heavyweight Champion. But what am I without Paul Bearer? This abduction is unprecedented and it is unlawful! But I am willing to not press chargers. I am willing to let this whole thing slide. And all you have to do, Edge, is bring back Paul Bearer. And if you do, I promise not to destroy you. I promise not to annihilate you. I promise not to eviscerate you. ‘Cause quite frankly, I am not what you think I am. I am not a freak. I’m not a monster. This man you see, this isn’t really me. I have feelings. I’m a human being. Deep down, I am a warm caring human being who only wants to be with his family in the holidays – just like all of you. I love the holidays! I love Thanksgiving. And Christmas. And Hanukkah. And Kwanzaa. I love New Years. I love all of the holidays. Look, I just want my father back, okay? Because unlike all of you, I have a great family life.

Edge Can Resolve Everything

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That is just the sweetest thing.

I actually enjoyed SmackDown! this week. It feels so right having Edge as part of the roster. The best part about it is that he can also play games with maniacal rules. This past Friday, Edge decided to take out his frustrations on…

PAUL BEARER
(You got that right!)

Kane. Oh Kaaaane. Have you been looking for your father? He’s been a little tied up. I know you, you have a dysfunctional family. I know, I know you have daddy issues. But Kane, I can, I can resolve all those for you right now if you want. Do you want me to take care of your daddy issues? Kane, Kane. Kane, I wouldn’t take another step. You see, these wheelchairs, they, they have a mind of their own. Once they get going one direction, it’s really, it’s really hard to stop them.

Even with his words halted in some ways, Edge is still beautiful. And evil. But genius. Evil and genius, indeed.

Now, I don’t really know why most superstars are fond of kidnapping Paul Bearer. Remember this? Yes, the Dudley Boyz were immensely responsible for that.

Anyway, here are the other good things that happened on SmackDown! (that’s right, something good happened on SmackDown!):

  • Edge and Vickie meet again in the SmackDown! ring after a long time. Vickie called Edge “sweetheart” :D.
  • Edge against David Otunga in a Lumberjack Match.
  • David Otunga successfully persuading his Nexus teammates to help him with his match against Edge.
  • David Otunga keeping his spot in The Nexus (that’s right, I’m PROtunga, bitchezzz!).
  • This. He can make us dashing. :>

I can’t wait for Survivor Series! I hope Edge wins the title. And that Barrett does not. Just saying.

Kane is a Superstar

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This is a delayed entry. I know that I have missed so much on SmackDown!. But, have you checked out wwekids.com yet? It’s a rather cool site that I never bothered entering up until a few months ago, when Bet commended it. We browsed for superstars’ respective profile, and so far, this one’s the best we’ve read.

Kane’s Profile

Wow. That explains A LOT. That must have made a lot of net-surfing kids even more terrified. What’s with the love for flames? It just shows how delusional this man is. No wonder he can easily set people on fire, bury men alive, and without any concerns, whatsoever, ambush his brother dangerously enough to put The Deadman in a coma. Still, you have to wonder, though, why through it all, his father still regards Kane as the former’s favorite son; his favorite demon.

You can also browse for your favorite superstars at WWE Kids. But, I’m telling you, Kane’s profile is the best.

The Father of Destruction

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I can’t believe this!

The last time I saw Paul Bearer on TV was on the summer of 2004, at a pay-per-view called The Great American Bash. I was nine, so yes, the thought of The Undertaker burying Mr. Bearer with cement haunted me after that. I honestly thought I had witnessed a murder. And I was even very interested/nervous/(and somehow)excited about it. Even when one of my brothers reported that Paul is alive and, in fact, only injured, I never believed him.

2004: When Paul Bearer was *dying* inside this crypt.

2010: Paul Bearer has risen from the dead.

But now, look who’s back! And siding with The Undertaker, too? Based on what happened six years ago, I suppose that Paul Bearer should be infuriated that his former client – his friend betrayed him back then. But what a forgiving soul! He actually turns against his own son, Kane. Looks like we have the Family of Destruction back in the WWE. It is interesting to note, by the way, that nothing changed much from any of the three after all those years. Blah. I am so thrilled about this!

Sherlock Sleuthing 1: Results Are In!

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A few of you have submitted comments and opinions on who you think is The Undertaker’s injurer. You sure gave me a few ideas of my own. But it was only last Sunday when we found out who the real perpetrator is. I don’t know what point I am trying to impose since the result is somewhat obvious. But anyway, it still feels right doing so, therefore, if you were a hundred and one percent sure that it was The Big Red Monster, Kane who put The Phenom in a vegetative state before you even got to watch Summerslam, then, you got that right!!! Here’s your prize (I apologize if I can only give you the virtual version – life works normally this way).

You know how much I love Kane and his words. So let’s hear what he has to say about his (what others may say) “appalling” actions at Summerslam.

When the devil removed himself from heaven and earth, he left behind seven deadly sins. Of these seven, my favorite, and always will be, is the sin of pride. You see, big brother, it was your pride that weakened your powers over your decades of destruction. It was your pride that allowed me to put you in a vegetative state. Because of your pride, I knew you would come back before you were ready. and ultimately, because of your pride, I was able to drop you on your head at Summerslam. Do you remember when it all began? Do you remember how your downward spiral, your journey from immortality to that mangled wreck that I left in this ring this past Sunday, do you remember how it started, brother? For years, I was nothing more than just some vague memory on the back of your mind. But when you saw me again for the first time, the look in your eyes told the story. It was the story of an older, self-serving brother who was obsessed with the pride of keeping the spotlight all to himself and keeping me in his shadow forever. Everything that I did in those early years, you were able to overcome. Instead of destroying your legend, I made it greater. When you set me on fire, I knew that it was my influence that forced the dark side to the limit. It took your little brother to separate you from your last suspicion of humanity. It was your most magnificent moment! That’s when I knew what I had to do. That’s when my master plan was set in motion. With every victory, your collection of souls grew. But so did your weakness. I watched. And i waited. And even in victory, it was clear that you were losing your grip. Ha-ha-ha. But the day that you forced me to remove my mask and show the world my true face was the day that you unleashed the monster capable of finally ending your reign of darkness. When we met for the second time on the grandest stage of them all, the time was not right. But the plan continued to evolve. You see, I know you better than anyone, brother. I positioned myself at your right hand so I could gain your confidence. And even then, I watched, and I waited. You see, our reunion, it was nothing more than a vehicle from my vengeance. I knew no matter how many times you spent crashing down, You’d always get back up. Your pride forced you to get back up. But your pride would be your undoing. You see, while you were disgracing yourself, while you were allowing yourself to be betrayed by those beneath you, I was buying my time. And I knew that my time has finally come the moment that you showed Shawn Michaels an instance of mercy. You had a choice. You could destroy Shawn Michaels, or you could become one with your weakness. It was your decision that sealed your fate. Because I knew at that moment, the plan that I had hatched over a decade ago had finally come to permission. I knew last Sunday when i saw that shadow of your former self rise up out of that kind, when i felt your weak grip on my throat I knew that it was over. All the years of plotting, all the years of planning, all the years of waiting, all the years of watching in the shadows were finally at an end. I get my vengeance! Vengeance that had alluded me for so long. Ha-ha! And now, brother, the shadows in which I once labored, they’re cast upon you. And what was once your holy grail is now my World Heavyweight Championship. Undertaker, we used to be called The Brothers of Destruction. But now, you are nothing more than the brother I destroyed. for fifteen years, I dreamed of the day when The Phenom would be no more. For fifteen years, I relished the thought of being the dominant brother. For fifteen years, I knew that this day would come. I have dedicated my life to making this moment reality. The moment when my brother will be cast out with grave vengeance and buried in anger. And I will replace him as the devil’s favorite demon.

Dayum, I don’t even care what transgressed at Summerslam, Kane’s words are like poetry. They’re so good that I think I might even submit this to Shane for her declamation piece! Anyway, I appreciate all your comments. I hope you enjoy Kane as still being Heavyweight Champion. Two thumbs-up, Kane!