Tag Archives: Santino Marella

Why I Boycott Jack TV

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It’s summer again.

You might be wondering where I’ve been.

I graduated. From high school. That suck of an institution, in reality. Been on a Stephen King frenzy. I’ve only really read him last summer, but it seems that all I want to do now is buy all his works. I just finished Different Seasons, and I’m just starting in on Blaze. I’d probably proceed to Dolores Claiborne. I don’t know what’s up with me. Don’t know what’s up with this blog. Or with music. Or with today’s literature. Or even with wrestling.

That last one strikes such a bad chord. Two months ago, Jack TV removed WWE from their network. At first, it was just a “satellite-thing”. But then weeks piled up and everyone lost all hope. You should see their Facebook page – it is completely littered with WWE fans ranting about the loss of the program and the establishment of seemingly suckish shows that could never get Jack ratings. 

I don’t think Jack TV will bring back WWE. With Walking Dead, Criminal Minds, NCIS, Family Guy on their team, I’m rooting for FOX now. They already released a teaser for WWE. I’ve been rather hopeful. But it’s taking too long. Yesterday, out of sentimental reasons, I actually turned the pages of my December 2010 copy of the WWE Magazine to the Body Shop and worked out like Dolph Ziggler, thinking, I just want to watch wrestling on my goddamn cable, goddamnit.

Anyway, I’m keeping track of the events that I have missed since WWE was unjustly torn off my cable. Lots of props to Jack TV for this.

 

Whatever happened to Eve and Zack Ryder?

The Miz on Psych

HBK’s “return”

Santino Marella winning the United States Championship

CENA/ROCK BATTLE

PUNK/JERICHO WAR

Eve’s heel turn, of course

Team Teddy vs. Team Johnny

UNDERTAKER VS. TRIPLE H VS. HBK

WRESTLEfuckingMANIA!!121212!!@@!@!@!!!

Lord Tensai?

BROCK LESNAR’S RETURN

That’s about it. Fuck Jack TV.

 

 

Muppet Sightings!

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The Muppets came to RAW this week, which, I think, was one of the best things that happened on the show. If you missed the show, here are a few Muppet sightings that cannot be missed.

  • Miss Piggy calling Jack Swagger “Frankenstein”
  • Kermit assuming Vickie Guerrero to be Jack Swagger’s “mother”
  • An “Excuse Me” with matching chest-shoving bout between the original diva, Miss Piggy and Vickie Guerrero
  • Kelly Kelly planting a smooch on Kermit while Miss Piggy grew livid
  • Sheamus saving Beaker from Christian
  • Sheamus asking Beaker to say hi to a certain Aunt Teresa because he “can’t make the family reunion this year” (we always knew it)
  • Christian still carrying Beaker’s beaker when he was already walking away from the scene
  • SHEAMUS STYLING BEAKER’S HAIR SHEAMUS-STYLE!
  • Statler and Waldorf getting exclusive seats on RAW (and Michael Cole getting repulsed by their uncanny likeness to King and JR)
  • Gonzo getting his arm pulled out by Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler (with Vickie Guerrero’s evil laughter haunting behind)
  • Fozzie believing that he had seen a wrestler so huge that he has his own zip code
  • Animal as special timekeeper was so cute!
  • Beaker finally handing Santino the “special formula” that Dr. Bunsen Honeydew concocted, allowing Santino to win his match against Swagger
  • HORNSWOGGLE GETTING A MOVE ON MISS PIGGY
  • Cody Rhodes bagging Kermit the Frog
  • Miss Piggy checking out John Morrison’s six-pack

And so much more. Great turn of events for RAW this week. John Cena even got to take home a Scream mask after all. But, my favorite was when CM Punk locked the Anaconda Vise on Alberto del Rio after informing del Rio that he, in fact will. He’s an awesome man, that CM Punk.

Alberto, I need you to comprehend this. I know you’re a little discombobulated right now, but I need you to process what’s about to happen to you. What’s about to happen to you is I’m going to ask you a question. It’s a simple yes or no answer, but I have a feeling that you are going to say yes because prior to me asking you this question, I’m going to twist you like a pretzel into a move that I’d like to call the Anaconda Vise so are you with me? Can you hear me? And I’m not gonna let go until you say yes or si to giving me my match at Survivor Series.

International Bromance

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... you know what? I shouldn't even be saying anything. I just dig these luvvies, for all I care.

Just as William Regal started beating down Santino Marella following a match against Vladimir Kozlov, the latter came back to the ring to chase off the aggressor. Eventually, much to everyone’s surprise, Vladimir also went on to helping the Milan Miracle get back up on his feet. 😀

At least this story has a happy ending.

Season 2 Pros-Rookies List

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Ah yes, NXT. It seems like it was only last week when Season One ended… oh, wait. That was last week! Well, time does go quickly! We now have a new set of pros and rookies! And because I was too clapped-out from editing the Marrella-Kozlov dance-off photos, I won’t be posting any pictures here. But if you really want to be familiarized with these guys and all that stuff, I suggest you click on the links that I decided to put up. WWE was “kind” enough to air their Twitter pages on live TV. 😀

ProRookie
The Miz – Alex Riley
John Morrison – Eli Cottonwood
Cody Rhodes – Husky Harris
Layla and Michelle McCool – Kaval
Mark Henry – LuckyCannon
Kofi Kingston – Michael McGillicutty
MVP – Percy Watson
Zack Ryder – Titus O’ Neil

And due to the Season One rookies’ ambush on RAW this past Monday (which, I really missed – thank goodness, WWE decided to air the whole thing on NXT), this season ended with the pros taking their revenge on the newcomers. This only means that Season Two will be a Pros vs. Rookies battle rather than an actual rookies competition. Amazing, isn’t it? Well, we all know that Kaval’s pretty “okay” with this whole mess. We did see him carrying LayCool’s golds to the ring on Friday night. Very professional, Kaval! Grudges came separately when you were bought. 😀

Kozlov: I am Much Stronger, Much Faster.

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Awesome first ever Three-Hour Voter’s Choice Night on RAW. Seriously, this was the ultimate entertainment for me: Santino Marrella vs. Vladimir Kozlov in a dance-off.

Santino’s moves, of course, aren’t a mystery to any of us since we’ve seen him goof off for a long time. He managed to end his routine with his signature “Cobra”, earning him neutral awe from the crowd.

OH BOY, WHO WUDDA’V THOUGHT? THIS IS THE MOST GENIUS THING I HAVE EVER SEEN! He can’t even help but smile while dancing. :>

Of course, Kozlov won.