Tag Archives: The Undertaker

Why I Boycott Jack TV

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It’s summer again.

You might be wondering where I’ve been.

I graduated. From high school. That suck of an institution, in reality. Been on a Stephen King frenzy. I’ve only really read him last summer, but it seems that all I want to do now is buy all his works. I just finished Different Seasons, and I’m just starting in on Blaze. I’d probably proceed to Dolores Claiborne. I don’t know what’s up with me. Don’t know what’s up with this blog. Or with music. Or with today’s literature. Or even with wrestling.

That last one strikes such a bad chord. Two months ago, Jack TV removed WWE from their network. At first, it was just a “satellite-thing”. But then weeks piled up and everyone lost all hope. You should see their Facebook page – it is completely littered with WWE fans ranting about the loss of the program and the establishment of seemingly suckish shows that could never get Jack ratings. 

I don’t think Jack TV will bring back WWE. With Walking Dead, Criminal Minds, NCIS, Family Guy on their team, I’m rooting for FOX now. They already released a teaser for WWE. I’ve been rather hopeful. But it’s taking too long. Yesterday, out of sentimental reasons, I actually turned the pages of my December 2010 copy of the WWE Magazine to the Body Shop and worked out like Dolph Ziggler, thinking, I just want to watch wrestling on my goddamn cable, goddamnit.

Anyway, I’m keeping track of the events that I have missed since WWE was unjustly torn off my cable. Lots of props to Jack TV for this.

 

Whatever happened to Eve and Zack Ryder?

The Miz on Psych

HBK’s “return”

Santino Marella winning the United States Championship

CENA/ROCK BATTLE

PUNK/JERICHO WAR

Eve’s heel turn, of course

Team Teddy vs. Team Johnny

UNDERTAKER VS. TRIPLE H VS. HBK

WRESTLEfuckingMANIA!!121212!!@@!@!@!!!

Lord Tensai?

BROCK LESNAR’S RETURN

That’s about it. Fuck Jack TV.

 

 

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Thank You, Adam Copeland

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On this day, I proudly wore my Edge T-shirt to ALSH, partly because I had hoped to strike a conversation with Jimmy, who as I discovered on his Facebook profile, is also a fanatic of the WWE. But partly, I also wore it because of its design. I thought it looked wonderful with my yellow skinny jeans. Yellow for Edge’s hair of course. It’s not an authentic Edge shirt, but it’s still something.

Then I went home, turned on the TV for Monday Night RAW. At around 9:15 in the evening, Edge came out. Then, he announced that he was going to retire.

😦

And what bothered me more is that this happened four days ago, yet I only got to know it now due a damaged computer and the delay in airing here in my country. And, I never really got to see Edge live in any of the shows they displayed here, and that I may never at all. It was unexpected, and too sudden, and dang, I never saw it coming. That’s what hurt the most. And how ironic, that it was also the day that I decided to wear this T-shirt that I found out? Ah, it’s just a sad story that I want to share.

But, Edge, you didn’t let anyone down. If it’s for the good of you to leave, then so be it. I really cried when you were on the ramp, and your music hit, and you did your signature pose. My adoration for you is no such secret. I hope you get to be better and that you are happy whatever may be the outcome of this incident. Truly, you are the person who inspires me the most. Thank you, Edge. Thank you for being the Ultimate Opportunist. Thank you for the entertainment. Thank you, simply. Imagine that! You are going to retire as World Champion. As JR puts it, “No cliché, you will surely be missed”.

Pahinga ka lang.

You have to bear with me just a little bit. I’m probably ramble and not make much sense, but please bear with me. A lot of people think that the WWE doesn’t hurt. That what we do maybe some smoking mirrors and, and I wish that were true. But anybody in that locker room, anybody who has ever stepped up in here, laced up a pair of boots know that that’s not the case. Which brings me to what I am about to tell you.

Eight years ago, I broke my neck. It was spinal fusion surgery which means that they move your throat over, they put a plate in there and screws. It was really in-depth surgery. But because of that surgery, I knew that I was wrestling on borrowed time from that point on. So fast forward, and the last little while, I’ve been in a lot of pain. I’ve been losing feeling in my arms. So, I passed a strength test and all of those things and I made it to Wrestlemania. But the WWE showed that I need to get more tests. And thankfully I did because the MRI showed that I have to retire. I mean, trust me it’s not my choice. The doctors have told me that I have no choice. And, thankfully, they found out because I’m not gonna end up in a wheelchair now.

Uh.. he he. This is a little bit tougher than I thought it was gonna be.

So you know, thank you, guys. Ha ha, well I tell you, this has been an emotional rollercoaster of a week for me. And I’m not gonna lie: I felt sorry for myself until I talked to Christian. And for those of you who don’t know, Christian has been my best friend for 27 years. And you see, I was angry. I was angry at myself, I was angry at my body because I felt like there’s a lot of people in the company that depend on me, and I felt that I was letting them down. I felt like I was letting you guys down. But then, you know, I was upset too because I didn’t feel that I was doing this on my terms. But then he reminded me that I’ve competed my whole career on my terms.

You know, I’m still like all of you. I am a huge fan of the WWE. Every month, Christian and I would go to Maple Leaf Garden, and we would watch all of our favorites. We would watch The Legion of Doom. We’ve watched Demolition. We’ve watched Hulk Hogan. We’d watch all of them and just be enthralled. Then I went to Wrestlemania 6, and I watched Hulk Hogan against The Ultimate Warrior. And I said, ‘I’m doing this one day’. And you know what? Fast-forward a bunch of years later and I’m main-eventing Wrestlemania against The Undertaker. There’s no way I ever would have dreamed about it. There’s no way when you told me when I was 11 years old that I was going to win more championships than anyone else in the history of this company. No way I would have believe it. And if you had told me that my last match would be at Wrestlemania, one of the main events, defending the World Heavyweight Championship, and that I’d be retiring as the World Heavyweight Champion, man I couldn’t dream of a better way to go out. I really couldn’t.

You know, I started in the WWE when I was 23. I mean, I’ve been doing this for 19 years, 14 of them with the WWE. My first match was May 10, 1996, Hamilton Cups Colisseum, and I was 23 years old. And I feel that I’ve grown up in front of all of you. I feel like I’ve made a lot of mistakes in front of you. I learned and I’ve become a man in front of you. I’ve gone from being the silent guy running around the streets of New York with a trench coat that was way too small for him to a pseudo-vampire in the brood to one of the funny, goofy guys with Christian for the benefit of those with flash photography. I became one of the most despised guys in the history of the WWE. As a matter of fact, I got thrown into the Long Island South. I’d a live sex celebration – thankfully with Lita and not with Vickie Guerrero. And I would hope that through it all, I’ve earned the respect of everyone in that locker room. And I hope that I’ve earned all of your respect. Because no matter what, no matter what, I came out here and I tried to give you guys as much as I had every single night. And in turn, you guys gave it right back to me.

So I’m gonna miss all of this – all of it. I’m gonna miss that reaction, when my music hits and I come out on the ramp. It’s like a shot of adrenaline straight to the heart from you guys. And it’s amazing, I can’t describe it. But with that being said, I don’t have to wear tights tomorrow, and I’m gonna eat a whole lot of ice cream tonight.

But, if you ask me, if I would do all of these again, all the way back from getting hired by JR, if you ask me if I’d travel all the roads, log all the miles, hop on all the flights, all the sleepless nights, all the surgeries, all the injuries, the metal rods in my teeth, all of it – if you ask me if i’d do it again… in a heartbeat. So, thank you. Thank you very much.

Slammy’s, Tumblr and Preoccupation

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Edge and Christian make me extremely happy. Their meet at the Slammy’s was highly amusing. Edge didn’t like his award. Christian thought del Rio should have received it. This photo is too beautiful to just keep on my Tumblr account. D’oh, yes, I have a Tumblr account now. For months, I’ve been haunted with the decision of creating an account as such. Bet seems to get the hang of it. I, on the other hand, didn’t seem to know what I’d put in it once I do get an account. But soon enough, I found the light. My motive for that one is to post photos of past and current WWE heels, just for the heck of it. It’s sort of fascinating actually. I gained around twenty-five followers on the first two days that I started. I like my first days in Tumblr.

But I love this blog.

And I wrote that with a straight face. Can you imagine saying/writing the word ‘love’ with a straight face? That’s badass.

Here is the list of winners for the 2010 Slammy Awards (it’s ages late, I know):

  • Superstar of the Year: John Cena (wow, *big surprise* there, buddy – considering that it’s been a hellacious year for you. Have I mentioned that he got fired?)
  • Diva of the Year: Michelle McCool (what happened to the “Lay” part? >_>)
  • WWE Moment of the Year: The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania XXVI
  • WWE “Oh Snap” Meltdown of the Year: Edge destroys the anonymous GM’s computer
  • Shocker of the Year: The Nexus debuts
  • Despicable Me Award: CM Punk sings Happy Birthday to Rey Mysterio’s daughter
  • Holy %&^*%& of the Year: John Cena’s Attitude Adjustment on Batista through the stage
  • Guest Star Shining Moment: Pee-wee Herman vs. The Miz (REALLY INFINITY, ftw!!!!!1111!!!11!!!1!)
  • Knucklehead Moment of the Year: Lay-Cool gets beat by Mae Young
  • WWE Universe Fan Reaction: “Angry Miz Girl” Cayley (lucky kid. She’s already appeared on RAW TWICE)
  • “And I Quote…” Line of the Year: Michael Cole (I’m sure)

And here are the supplementary awards that I think you should also know of:

  • Best Performance by a Winged Specimen: Monday Night Raw chicken
  • Most Menacing Haircut: Tyler Reks
  • Best Family Values: Kane destroys Jack Swagger Sr. as his son looks on
  • Superstar/Diva Most in Need of Makeup: Sheamus (hey, now Sheamus has an award!)
  • The “Cole in Your Stocking” Award: Daniel Bryan attacks Michael Cole on WWE NXT (I love that. We had a blog entry for that. c:)
  • Outstanding Achievement in Baby Oil Application: “Dashing” Cody Rhodes (not Randy Orton?! D:)
  • Frequent Tweeter Award: Goldust
  • Best WWE.com Exclusive TV Show: WWE NXT (What?! RAW was robbed!)
  • Most Annoying Catchphrase: Zack Ryder for “Woo, woo, woo, you know it.” (which is NOT really annoying)

The Father of Destruction

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I can’t believe this!

The last time I saw Paul Bearer on TV was on the summer of 2004, at a pay-per-view called The Great American Bash. I was nine, so yes, the thought of The Undertaker burying Mr. Bearer with cement haunted me after that. I honestly thought I had witnessed a murder. And I was even very interested/nervous/(and somehow)excited about it. Even when one of my brothers reported that Paul is alive and, in fact, only injured, I never believed him.

2004: When Paul Bearer was *dying* inside this crypt.

2010: Paul Bearer has risen from the dead.

But now, look who’s back! And siding with The Undertaker, too? Based on what happened six years ago, I suppose that Paul Bearer should be infuriated that his former client – his friend betrayed him back then. But what a forgiving soul! He actually turns against his own son, Kane. Looks like we have the Family of Destruction back in the WWE. It is interesting to note, by the way, that nothing changed much from any of the three after all those years. Blah. I am so thrilled about this!

Sherlock Sleuthing 1: Results Are In!

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A few of you have submitted comments and opinions on who you think is The Undertaker’s injurer. You sure gave me a few ideas of my own. But it was only last Sunday when we found out who the real perpetrator is. I don’t know what point I am trying to impose since the result is somewhat obvious. But anyway, it still feels right doing so, therefore, if you were a hundred and one percent sure that it was The Big Red Monster, Kane who put The Phenom in a vegetative state before you even got to watch Summerslam, then, you got that right!!! Here’s your prize (I apologize if I can only give you the virtual version – life works normally this way).

You know how much I love Kane and his words. So let’s hear what he has to say about his (what others may say) “appalling” actions at Summerslam.

When the devil removed himself from heaven and earth, he left behind seven deadly sins. Of these seven, my favorite, and always will be, is the sin of pride. You see, big brother, it was your pride that weakened your powers over your decades of destruction. It was your pride that allowed me to put you in a vegetative state. Because of your pride, I knew you would come back before you were ready. and ultimately, because of your pride, I was able to drop you on your head at Summerslam. Do you remember when it all began? Do you remember how your downward spiral, your journey from immortality to that mangled wreck that I left in this ring this past Sunday, do you remember how it started, brother? For years, I was nothing more than just some vague memory on the back of your mind. But when you saw me again for the first time, the look in your eyes told the story. It was the story of an older, self-serving brother who was obsessed with the pride of keeping the spotlight all to himself and keeping me in his shadow forever. Everything that I did in those early years, you were able to overcome. Instead of destroying your legend, I made it greater. When you set me on fire, I knew that it was my influence that forced the dark side to the limit. It took your little brother to separate you from your last suspicion of humanity. It was your most magnificent moment! That’s when I knew what I had to do. That’s when my master plan was set in motion. With every victory, your collection of souls grew. But so did your weakness. I watched. And i waited. And even in victory, it was clear that you were losing your grip. Ha-ha-ha. But the day that you forced me to remove my mask and show the world my true face was the day that you unleashed the monster capable of finally ending your reign of darkness. When we met for the second time on the grandest stage of them all, the time was not right. But the plan continued to evolve. You see, I know you better than anyone, brother. I positioned myself at your right hand so I could gain your confidence. And even then, I watched, and I waited. You see, our reunion, it was nothing more than a vehicle from my vengeance. I knew no matter how many times you spent crashing down, You’d always get back up. Your pride forced you to get back up. But your pride would be your undoing. You see, while you were disgracing yourself, while you were allowing yourself to be betrayed by those beneath you, I was buying my time. And I knew that my time has finally come the moment that you showed Shawn Michaels an instance of mercy. You had a choice. You could destroy Shawn Michaels, or you could become one with your weakness. It was your decision that sealed your fate. Because I knew at that moment, the plan that I had hatched over a decade ago had finally come to permission. I knew last Sunday when i saw that shadow of your former self rise up out of that kind, when i felt your weak grip on my throat I knew that it was over. All the years of plotting, all the years of planning, all the years of waiting, all the years of watching in the shadows were finally at an end. I get my vengeance! Vengeance that had alluded me for so long. Ha-ha! And now, brother, the shadows in which I once labored, they’re cast upon you. And what was once your holy grail is now my World Heavyweight Championship. Undertaker, we used to be called The Brothers of Destruction. But now, you are nothing more than the brother I destroyed. for fifteen years, I dreamed of the day when The Phenom would be no more. For fifteen years, I relished the thought of being the dominant brother. For fifteen years, I knew that this day would come. I have dedicated my life to making this moment reality. The moment when my brother will be cast out with grave vengeance and buried in anger. And I will replace him as the devil’s favorite demon.

Dayum, I don’t even care what transgressed at Summerslam, Kane’s words are like poetry. They’re so good that I think I might even submit this to Shane for her declamation piece! Anyway, I appreciate all your comments. I hope you enjoy Kane as still being Heavyweight Champion. Two thumbs-up, Kane!

Sherlock Sleuthing: Why It’s Not Jack Swagger

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Meet the Swaggers and their long line of activities. Unfortunately for them, the photos didn't seem as convinving.

Aw. Who better come down to the ring and help the All-American American other than his very own father? Of course, I doubt that little Jack had anything to do with The Undertaker’s present condition (why is Kane even bringing this down on the innocent ones? D:). I mean, come on, it was Memorial Day! Jack Swagger could, should, and must have been with his family! Not only are they closely-knit and supportive of one another, but they are also very adventurous people. Again, the father actually came down to the ring to defend his son from the Big Red Monster.

Besides, there were lots of other things to be done on Memorial Day other than ambush The Undertaker. As a matter of fact, ambushing some guy is the most boring thing to do on Memorial Day! I wouldn’t do it, that’s for certain. Surely, Swaggie had a morning work-out. Surely, Swaggie won a fishing tournament. And most importantly, surely, Swaggie did three hundred push-ups that day (now I know it doesn’t sound as realistic – but let’s have a little faith on the boy).

Now suppose Jack Swagger’s evidences weren’t as believable as CM Punk’s, but Swaggie ambushing ‘Taker? Well sure, there have been some instances – he’s done it to Rey Mysterio and other smaller superstars – but come on: really? Haha, no offense, Jack. I mean, you did leave your father in the ring with Kane, and you watched him get demolished like this (that has to hurt). And like this (that too). So you taking out The Undertaker… hm, let’s see. Indubitably impossible. I do believe that you are telling the truth, no matter how unreal the photos seem. Poor Mr. Swagger Sr. though. Jack, you could have gone to his aid, you prodigal.

Sherlock Sleuthing: Why It’s Not CM Punk

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Kane, Kane, I can prove he’s innocent. Please stop hurting him. Punk couldn’t have been the one that hurt The Undertaker. He couldn’t have. He couldn’t have. On May 31st, the day that everything happened, Punk wasn’t anywhere near The Undertaker. I know because he was with me. Punk was… Punk was saving me. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.

Uh-oh is right: Serena (shown in the initial photo) looks devastated after showing her clip of proof, in where CM Punk found her having some drinks at a bar, and tried to save her

Oh my goodness, you guys. This has to be the biggest shocker in straight edge history.

Personally, I don’t think neither CM Punk nor the Straight Edge Society has anything to do with The Undertaker’s vegetative state. As I have written before, Kane is just probably taking out his anger on Mr. Punk because he wears a mask now. You know. Perhaps it reminds him of someone else? Perhaps this someone else also has a mask, and is one of the more likely suspects? >____>

If Kane hadn’t asked for a believable evidence, then this whole shenanigans wouldn’t have happened. Serena wouldn’t have come to her Savior’s aid and show this very shocking leak – a revelation that is very much against straight edge rules. If you please, this appalling video starts at 2:20.

We now take this moment to be solemn and to reflect upon the actions of our straight edge (or must we add “former” before that sacred title?) sister, Serena. An anti-SES would claim that this video is a fake, despite the date and time displayed. I do believe in the society, no matter the odds. But for the sake of the club’s reputation, I hope it is a fake, Doubter. I hope it is. Still, you have to be enticed with Serena’s loyalty. She drank at a bar for her Savior. She sacrificed herself. It is an unacceptable act, I know, but imagine the trauma that she went through. The world will swallow up this sin, and the SES shall once again unite for the betterment of us all.

At least Kane didn’t proceed with the Chokeslam. And BTW, good work with the mad acting skillz. It certainly was better than Vickie Guerrero and Big Show’s, and Alicia Fox and Edge’s lip locks.

Scratch that.

Happy 4th of July. 😀