Tag Archives: Vickie Guerrero

Muppet Sightings!

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The Muppets came to RAW this week, which, I think, was one of the best things that happened on the show. If you missed the show, here are a few Muppet sightings that cannot be missed.

  • Miss Piggy calling Jack Swagger “Frankenstein”
  • Kermit assuming Vickie Guerrero to be Jack Swagger’s “mother”
  • An “Excuse Me” with matching chest-shoving bout between the original diva, Miss Piggy and Vickie Guerrero
  • Kelly Kelly planting a smooch on Kermit while Miss Piggy grew livid
  • Sheamus saving Beaker from Christian
  • Sheamus asking Beaker to say hi to a certain Aunt Teresa because he “can’t make the family reunion this year” (we always knew it)
  • Christian still carrying Beaker’s beaker when he was already walking away from the scene
  • SHEAMUS STYLING BEAKER’S HAIR SHEAMUS-STYLE!
  • Statler and Waldorf getting exclusive seats on RAW (and Michael Cole getting repulsed by their uncanny likeness to King and JR)
  • Gonzo getting his arm pulled out by Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler (with Vickie Guerrero’s evil laughter haunting behind)
  • Fozzie believing that he had seen a wrestler so huge that he has his own zip code
  • Animal as special timekeeper was so cute!
  • Beaker finally handing Santino the “special formula” that Dr. Bunsen Honeydew concocted, allowing Santino to win his match against Swagger
  • HORNSWOGGLE GETTING A MOVE ON MISS PIGGY
  • Cody Rhodes bagging Kermit the Frog
  • Miss Piggy checking out John Morrison’s six-pack

And so much more. Great turn of events for RAW this week. John Cena even got to take home a Scream mask after all. But, my favorite was when CM Punk locked the Anaconda Vise on Alberto del Rio after informing del Rio that he, in fact will. He’s an awesome man, that CM Punk.

Alberto, I need you to comprehend this. I know you’re a little discombobulated right now, but I need you to process what’s about to happen to you. What’s about to happen to you is I’m going to ask you a question. It’s a simple yes or no answer, but I have a feeling that you are going to say yes because prior to me asking you this question, I’m going to twist you like a pretzel into a move that I’d like to call the Anaconda Vise so are you with me? Can you hear me? And I’m not gonna let go until you say yes or si to giving me my match at Survivor Series.

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Sherlock Sleuthing: Why It’s Not CM Punk

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Kane, Kane, I can prove he’s innocent. Please stop hurting him. Punk couldn’t have been the one that hurt The Undertaker. He couldn’t have. He couldn’t have. On May 31st, the day that everything happened, Punk wasn’t anywhere near The Undertaker. I know because he was with me. Punk was… Punk was saving me. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.

Uh-oh is right: Serena (shown in the initial photo) looks devastated after showing her clip of proof, in where CM Punk found her having some drinks at a bar, and tried to save her

Oh my goodness, you guys. This has to be the biggest shocker in straight edge history.

Personally, I don’t think neither CM Punk nor the Straight Edge Society has anything to do with The Undertaker’s vegetative state. As I have written before, Kane is just probably taking out his anger on Mr. Punk because he wears a mask now. You know. Perhaps it reminds him of someone else? Perhaps this someone else also has a mask, and is one of the more likely suspects? >____>

If Kane hadn’t asked for a believable evidence, then this whole shenanigans wouldn’t have happened. Serena wouldn’t have come to her Savior’s aid and show this very shocking leak – a revelation that is very much against straight edge rules. If you please, this appalling video starts at 2:20.

We now take this moment to be solemn and to reflect upon the actions of our straight edge (or must we add “former” before that sacred title?) sister, Serena. An anti-SES would claim that this video is a fake, despite the date and time displayed. I do believe in the society, no matter the odds. But for the sake of the club’s reputation, I hope it is a fake, Doubter. I hope it is. Still, you have to be enticed with Serena’s loyalty. She drank at a bar for her Savior. She sacrificed herself. It is an unacceptable act, I know, but imagine the trauma that she went through. The world will swallow up this sin, and the SES shall once again unite for the betterment of us all.

At least Kane didn’t proceed with the Chokeslam. And BTW, good work with the mad acting skillz. It certainly was better than Vickie Guerrero and Big Show’s, and Alicia Fox and Edge’s lip locks.

Scratch that.

Happy 4th of July. 😀