Tag Archives: WrestleMania

Why I Boycott Jack TV

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It’s summer again.

You might be wondering where I’ve been.

I graduated. From high school. That suck of an institution, in reality. Been on a Stephen King frenzy. I’ve only really read him last summer, but it seems that all I want to do now is buy all his works. I just finished Different Seasons, and I’m just starting in on Blaze. I’d probably proceed to Dolores Claiborne. I don’t know what’s up with me. Don’t know what’s up with this blog. Or with music. Or with today’s literature. Or even with wrestling.

That last one strikes such a bad chord. Two months ago, Jack TV removed WWE from their network. At first, it was just a “satellite-thing”. But then weeks piled up and everyone lost all hope. You should see their Facebook page – it is completely littered with WWE fans ranting about the loss of the program and the establishment of seemingly suckish shows that could never get Jack ratings. 

I don’t think Jack TV will bring back WWE. With Walking Dead, Criminal Minds, NCIS, Family Guy on their team, I’m rooting for FOX now. They already released a teaser for WWE. I’ve been rather hopeful. But it’s taking too long. Yesterday, out of sentimental reasons, I actually turned the pages of my December 2010 copy of the WWE Magazine to the Body Shop and worked out like Dolph Ziggler, thinking, I just want to watch wrestling on my goddamn cable, goddamnit.

Anyway, I’m keeping track of the events that I have missed since WWE was unjustly torn off my cable. Lots of props to Jack TV for this.

 

Whatever happened to Eve and Zack Ryder?

The Miz on Psych

HBK’s “return”

Santino Marella winning the United States Championship

CENA/ROCK BATTLE

PUNK/JERICHO WAR

Eve’s heel turn, of course

Team Teddy vs. Team Johnny

UNDERTAKER VS. TRIPLE H VS. HBK

WRESTLEfuckingMANIA!!121212!!@@!@!@!!!

Lord Tensai?

BROCK LESNAR’S RETURN

That’s about it. Fuck Jack TV.

 

 

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Sabi Nila

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This isn’t sour grapes. Cold, hard truths need to be said right now.

“I’ve grabbed so many of Vincent K. McMahon’s brass rings that it’s finally dawned on me that they’re just that, they’re completely imaginary. The only thing that’s real is me and the fact that day in and day out, for almost six years, I have proved to everybody in the world that I am the best on this microphone, in that ring, even in commentary! Nobody can touch me! And yet no matter how many times I prove it, I’m not on your lovely little collector cups. I’m not on the cover of the program. I’m barely promoted. I don’t get to be in movies. I’m certainly not on any crappy show on the USA Network. I’m not on the poster of WrestleMania. I’m not on the signature that’s produced at the start of the show. I’m not on Conan O’Brien. I’m not on Jimmy Fallon. But the fact of the matter is, I should be.”

– CM Punk (Monday Night RAW. 6/27/11)

I feel so fucking sentimental and I don’t know why, but it really keeps me down. Is it knowing that I can never reach my aspirations as easily as I had plotted out? I’ve always believed that there will always be a part of you that knows what will happen in your life. I don’t know if you feel the same, but I really think that there are signals in our existence that just about assume the factors that will lead us to our fate. I know I will never get shot. I know will never get kidnapped.

Hell, I know I will graduate without recognition, no matter how much crap I’ve brought to that school. Crap that seems honorable to them. No matter how much I had endured to get to where I am. How responsible I had been. How good. How very good. All those extracurricular, those class plannings, bulletin boards, reports that I worked hard on – and four years, four fucking years of taking charge of four different classes – they don’t matter! At the end of the day, I’m just another graduate without honors, or salutations. No fucking scholarship – far from what I had envisioned. And, I’m never going to my dream school, which had been too good to be true when I hallucinated. Visions – they cloud up stealthily. And if you’re not careful, if you forget to keep your eyes on the road or your feet planted firmly on the ground, those visions might just blow up in your face.

I know I will never win the previous writing prompt that I joined. I know I’m going to die someday. It hurts thinking about that last bit. Not moving. Not doing anything. Nothing. Last Wednesday, I had a conversation about this with Claudette, and what she told me was just the saddest thing. It makes me stone cold pensive now when I think about it, so I try not to. It’s just been so long since I popped the question about the inevitable to say what I fear, to know what I don’t know. It didn’t make me feel better.

AND HERE ARE YOUR CHAMPIONS…!!!

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First thing Monday morning – I turned on the television to Jack TV’s live telecast of WWE TLC. I have to wonder why Dre would want to pass up on it. I thought the lineup was good. John Cena wasn’t on the show, which was odd because before, a lot of people – and I mean A LOT – paid good money to see him in the main events. Anyway, with that quick verity in check, I put the telly on display like I would a radio, heard the Philippines mentioned by Michael Cole, and in a span of three hours, we had our CHAMPIONS crowned.

Very likely.

1. United States Champion (Woo-nited States Champion): Zack Ryder

Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder. This match. Zack’s kewl and Dolph’s sexy. I like both guys, so I found the match rather interesting. Not to mention, the fans in Baltimore were totally hyped the entire night. I remember retweeting Zack’s “@DolphZiggler Tonight at TLC I will #fistpumpyourface” before the show began. There would have been a riot had Zack lost. So who better come out victorious but the Long Island Iced Z himself, Zack Ryder? WOO WOO WOO YOU KNOW IT BRO!!! It takes sheer hardwork and one social media revolution to make this well-deserved Crimmus miracle happen. Here’s Zack’s dad telling the whole world of how proud he is of our favorite new US champion. So are we, Papa Broski.

2. WWE Tag Team Champions: Air Boom

I did appreciate Michael Cole dictating a rundown of why Air Boom was bound to face Primo and Epico at TLC because I really have no clue how this happened. Did this all set in motion in SmackDown! (because I’m not much of a SmackDown!-guy)? I’m guessing that I just haven’t been paying much attention to the tag team division these days. We need more, please. Anyway, heard Air Boom’s great. Hooray, Kofi and Evan!

3. Divas Champion: Beth Phoenix

THAT’S RIGHT, YOU GO SISTAH! And was it just me or were Kelly Kelly fans completely dead during this match? Whatever. We all love Beth, and Beth’s fans are solid, yo. Hope she stays champion for the longest time because she’s amazing and because I wouldn’t want any of Kelly’s cohorts as champions. Eve better turn on the dark side because I like her as well, and WE JUST CAN’T HAVE HER NEXT TO KELLYasdfghjkl;

4. World Heavyweight Champion: Daniel Bryan

I really like Bryan Danielson and his massive Internet fanbase. Shame on you Michael Cole because here is your Heavyweight Champion!!!111! That’s right! And just so you know, I never paid attention to the Big Show vs. Mark Henry match until Bryan Danielson’s entrance song came up, and I found him running to the ring with his MITB briefcase. And just like that, SHOW’S OVER – even though he never really cashed in the briefcase at Wrestlemania like he said he would. But hey, plans change, it happens all the time. Hooray for Daniel Bryan and ha-ha on those who thought he could never make it as far. I smell a giant under loose for the title though.

5. Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes

What the hell. He had a match?! I’M KEPT IN THE DARK!

6. WWE Champion: CM Punk

Well la-di-da. Of course, here is your WWE Champion, CM PUNK. Best match of the night, in my opinion. I mean, he was handcuffed twice – and one of those was to a turnbuckle – and he escaped BOTH times! It was a brutal match. And Punk survived it all. And he’s STILL our WWE Champion, so ha-ha on you and your dethronement attempts, Funkman. And with this, CM Punk leads a revolution with his friends.

So what’s going to happen when you’ve got two so-called “indy schmucks” on top of the WWE food chain? Seeing the main event picture on last night’s RAW made me guffaw just a bit. On one side, we had CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, and Zack Ryder, and on another were Miz, Del Rio, and Dolph Ziggler. So… this is what had become of the WWE. Very nice. I have a feeling that we’re not going to see much of the Cena’s and Triple H’s and Rock’s in the season.

Kudos to independent wrestling. NYWC. ROH. GLORY. Take over.

Thank You, Adam Copeland

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On this day, I proudly wore my Edge T-shirt to ALSH, partly because I had hoped to strike a conversation with Jimmy, who as I discovered on his Facebook profile, is also a fanatic of the WWE. But partly, I also wore it because of its design. I thought it looked wonderful with my yellow skinny jeans. Yellow for Edge’s hair of course. It’s not an authentic Edge shirt, but it’s still something.

Then I went home, turned on the TV for Monday Night RAW. At around 9:15 in the evening, Edge came out. Then, he announced that he was going to retire.

😦

And what bothered me more is that this happened four days ago, yet I only got to know it now due a damaged computer and the delay in airing here in my country. And, I never really got to see Edge live in any of the shows they displayed here, and that I may never at all. It was unexpected, and too sudden, and dang, I never saw it coming. That’s what hurt the most. And how ironic, that it was also the day that I decided to wear this T-shirt that I found out? Ah, it’s just a sad story that I want to share.

But, Edge, you didn’t let anyone down. If it’s for the good of you to leave, then so be it. I really cried when you were on the ramp, and your music hit, and you did your signature pose. My adoration for you is no such secret. I hope you get to be better and that you are happy whatever may be the outcome of this incident. Truly, you are the person who inspires me the most. Thank you, Edge. Thank you for being the Ultimate Opportunist. Thank you for the entertainment. Thank you, simply. Imagine that! You are going to retire as World Champion. As JR puts it, “No cliché, you will surely be missed”.

Pahinga ka lang.

You have to bear with me just a little bit. I’m probably ramble and not make much sense, but please bear with me. A lot of people think that the WWE doesn’t hurt. That what we do maybe some smoking mirrors and, and I wish that were true. But anybody in that locker room, anybody who has ever stepped up in here, laced up a pair of boots know that that’s not the case. Which brings me to what I am about to tell you.

Eight years ago, I broke my neck. It was spinal fusion surgery which means that they move your throat over, they put a plate in there and screws. It was really in-depth surgery. But because of that surgery, I knew that I was wrestling on borrowed time from that point on. So fast forward, and the last little while, I’ve been in a lot of pain. I’ve been losing feeling in my arms. So, I passed a strength test and all of those things and I made it to Wrestlemania. But the WWE showed that I need to get more tests. And thankfully I did because the MRI showed that I have to retire. I mean, trust me it’s not my choice. The doctors have told me that I have no choice. And, thankfully, they found out because I’m not gonna end up in a wheelchair now.

Uh.. he he. This is a little bit tougher than I thought it was gonna be.

So you know, thank you, guys. Ha ha, well I tell you, this has been an emotional rollercoaster of a week for me. And I’m not gonna lie: I felt sorry for myself until I talked to Christian. And for those of you who don’t know, Christian has been my best friend for 27 years. And you see, I was angry. I was angry at myself, I was angry at my body because I felt like there’s a lot of people in the company that depend on me, and I felt that I was letting them down. I felt like I was letting you guys down. But then, you know, I was upset too because I didn’t feel that I was doing this on my terms. But then he reminded me that I’ve competed my whole career on my terms.

You know, I’m still like all of you. I am a huge fan of the WWE. Every month, Christian and I would go to Maple Leaf Garden, and we would watch all of our favorites. We would watch The Legion of Doom. We’ve watched Demolition. We’ve watched Hulk Hogan. We’d watch all of them and just be enthralled. Then I went to Wrestlemania 6, and I watched Hulk Hogan against The Ultimate Warrior. And I said, ‘I’m doing this one day’. And you know what? Fast-forward a bunch of years later and I’m main-eventing Wrestlemania against The Undertaker. There’s no way I ever would have dreamed about it. There’s no way when you told me when I was 11 years old that I was going to win more championships than anyone else in the history of this company. No way I would have believe it. And if you had told me that my last match would be at Wrestlemania, one of the main events, defending the World Heavyweight Championship, and that I’d be retiring as the World Heavyweight Champion, man I couldn’t dream of a better way to go out. I really couldn’t.

You know, I started in the WWE when I was 23. I mean, I’ve been doing this for 19 years, 14 of them with the WWE. My first match was May 10, 1996, Hamilton Cups Colisseum, and I was 23 years old. And I feel that I’ve grown up in front of all of you. I feel like I’ve made a lot of mistakes in front of you. I learned and I’ve become a man in front of you. I’ve gone from being the silent guy running around the streets of New York with a trench coat that was way too small for him to a pseudo-vampire in the brood to one of the funny, goofy guys with Christian for the benefit of those with flash photography. I became one of the most despised guys in the history of the WWE. As a matter of fact, I got thrown into the Long Island South. I’d a live sex celebration – thankfully with Lita and not with Vickie Guerrero. And I would hope that through it all, I’ve earned the respect of everyone in that locker room. And I hope that I’ve earned all of your respect. Because no matter what, no matter what, I came out here and I tried to give you guys as much as I had every single night. And in turn, you guys gave it right back to me.

So I’m gonna miss all of this – all of it. I’m gonna miss that reaction, when my music hits and I come out on the ramp. It’s like a shot of adrenaline straight to the heart from you guys. And it’s amazing, I can’t describe it. But with that being said, I don’t have to wear tights tomorrow, and I’m gonna eat a whole lot of ice cream tonight.

But, if you ask me, if I would do all of these again, all the way back from getting hired by JR, if you ask me if I’d travel all the roads, log all the miles, hop on all the flights, all the sleepless nights, all the surgeries, all the injuries, the metal rods in my teeth, all of it – if you ask me if i’d do it again… in a heartbeat. So, thank you. Thank you very much.

Slammy’s, Tumblr and Preoccupation

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Edge and Christian make me extremely happy. Their meet at the Slammy’s was highly amusing. Edge didn’t like his award. Christian thought del Rio should have received it. This photo is too beautiful to just keep on my Tumblr account. D’oh, yes, I have a Tumblr account now. For months, I’ve been haunted with the decision of creating an account as such. Bet seems to get the hang of it. I, on the other hand, didn’t seem to know what I’d put in it once I do get an account. But soon enough, I found the light. My motive for that one is to post photos of past and current WWE heels, just for the heck of it. It’s sort of fascinating actually. I gained around twenty-five followers on the first two days that I started. I like my first days in Tumblr.

But I love this blog.

And I wrote that with a straight face. Can you imagine saying/writing the word ‘love’ with a straight face? That’s badass.

Here is the list of winners for the 2010 Slammy Awards (it’s ages late, I know):

  • Superstar of the Year: John Cena (wow, *big surprise* there, buddy – considering that it’s been a hellacious year for you. Have I mentioned that he got fired?)
  • Diva of the Year: Michelle McCool (what happened to the “Lay” part? >_>)
  • WWE Moment of the Year: The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania XXVI
  • WWE “Oh Snap” Meltdown of the Year: Edge destroys the anonymous GM’s computer
  • Shocker of the Year: The Nexus debuts
  • Despicable Me Award: CM Punk sings Happy Birthday to Rey Mysterio’s daughter
  • Holy %&^*%& of the Year: John Cena’s Attitude Adjustment on Batista through the stage
  • Guest Star Shining Moment: Pee-wee Herman vs. The Miz (REALLY INFINITY, ftw!!!!!1111!!!11!!!1!)
  • Knucklehead Moment of the Year: Lay-Cool gets beat by Mae Young
  • WWE Universe Fan Reaction: “Angry Miz Girl” Cayley (lucky kid. She’s already appeared on RAW TWICE)
  • “And I Quote…” Line of the Year: Michael Cole (I’m sure)

And here are the supplementary awards that I think you should also know of:

  • Best Performance by a Winged Specimen: Monday Night Raw chicken
  • Most Menacing Haircut: Tyler Reks
  • Best Family Values: Kane destroys Jack Swagger Sr. as his son looks on
  • Superstar/Diva Most in Need of Makeup: Sheamus (hey, now Sheamus has an award!)
  • The “Cole in Your Stocking” Award: Daniel Bryan attacks Michael Cole on WWE NXT (I love that. We had a blog entry for that. c:)
  • Outstanding Achievement in Baby Oil Application: “Dashing” Cody Rhodes (not Randy Orton?! D:)
  • Frequent Tweeter Award: Goldust
  • Best WWE.com Exclusive TV Show: WWE NXT (What?! RAW was robbed!)
  • Most Annoying Catchphrase: Zack Ryder for “Woo, woo, woo, you know it.” (which is NOT really annoying)