Tag Archives: WWE RAW

Why We Shouldn’t Rise Above Hate (Life According to Kane)

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Keep away from the big, red, hateful man.

Kane is back. He’s totally badass again (he has a mask!). And for the past weeks, Kane, for some reason, has been at John Cena’s heels. This week, not only did he divulge his motive, but he also enlightened us about life, tackling the topic of “hate”. Why is it okay? Why do we do it? OMG, so much to learn! Here’s what he had to say (you can quote him on it):

You asked them to ‘rise above hate’, but that’s a fallacy. This world is a dark dark place. It’s okay to hate. Humans are hateful by nature. Deep down, eveybody hates. Why rise above it when the natural impulse is to embrace it, to let it consume you? People hate. They hate their bosses. They hate their neighbors. They hate their spouses. They hate their miserable existence. Rise above? That’s a fraudulent myth perpetuated by you! Hate is the seed from which we are all born. It drives us. It motivates us. It fuels our impulses. And I know that you feel it, John. You feel it swimming underneath your skin like a thousand insects eating away at you. But once you embrace the hate, you become honest with yourself. You become free. Free. What you fail to realize, John, is that with your denial, you grow weaker by the moment. And until you embrace that which you deny, you can never be truly free.

Aw, Kane wasn’t so bad after all. He even offered Cena a path to enlightenment. Who knows, maybe Cena would eventually side with this new, mask, slow-speaking, never-smiling Kane. I’d like to see that happen.

RAW was great this week. It always is when they’re in a sold-out Chicago stadium. Wishful thinking: I would someday like to be part of that crowd. For the meantime, I’m leaving you with a backstage interview of the very hot Dolph Ziggler as he muses about his win against CM Punk, 2012, and Rubik’s cubes. Watch it here.

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AND HERE ARE YOUR CHAMPIONS…!!!

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First thing Monday morning – I turned on the television to Jack TV’s live telecast of WWE TLC. I have to wonder why Dre would want to pass up on it. I thought the lineup was good. John Cena wasn’t on the show, which was odd because before, a lot of people – and I mean A LOT – paid good money to see him in the main events. Anyway, with that quick verity in check, I put the telly on display like I would a radio, heard the Philippines mentioned by Michael Cole, and in a span of three hours, we had our CHAMPIONS crowned.

Very likely.

1. United States Champion (Woo-nited States Champion): Zack Ryder

Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder. This match. Zack’s kewl and Dolph’s sexy. I like both guys, so I found the match rather interesting. Not to mention, the fans in Baltimore were totally hyped the entire night. I remember retweeting Zack’s “@DolphZiggler Tonight at TLC I will #fistpumpyourface” before the show began. There would have been a riot had Zack lost. So who better come out victorious but the Long Island Iced Z himself, Zack Ryder? WOO WOO WOO YOU KNOW IT BRO!!! It takes sheer hardwork and one social media revolution to make this well-deserved Crimmus miracle happen. Here’s Zack’s dad telling the whole world of how proud he is of our favorite new US champion. So are we, Papa Broski.

2. WWE Tag Team Champions: Air Boom

I did appreciate Michael Cole dictating a rundown of why Air Boom was bound to face Primo and Epico at TLC because I really have no clue how this happened. Did this all set in motion in SmackDown! (because I’m not much of a SmackDown!-guy)? I’m guessing that I just haven’t been paying much attention to the tag team division these days. We need more, please. Anyway, heard Air Boom’s great. Hooray, Kofi and Evan!

3. Divas Champion: Beth Phoenix

THAT’S RIGHT, YOU GO SISTAH! And was it just me or were Kelly Kelly fans completely dead during this match? Whatever. We all love Beth, and Beth’s fans are solid, yo. Hope she stays champion for the longest time because she’s amazing and because I wouldn’t want any of Kelly’s cohorts as champions. Eve better turn on the dark side because I like her as well, and WE JUST CAN’T HAVE HER NEXT TO KELLYasdfghjkl;

4. World Heavyweight Champion: Daniel Bryan

I really like Bryan Danielson and his massive Internet fanbase. Shame on you Michael Cole because here is your Heavyweight Champion!!!111! That’s right! And just so you know, I never paid attention to the Big Show vs. Mark Henry match until Bryan Danielson’s entrance song came up, and I found him running to the ring with his MITB briefcase. And just like that, SHOW’S OVER – even though he never really cashed in the briefcase at Wrestlemania like he said he would. But hey, plans change, it happens all the time. Hooray for Daniel Bryan and ha-ha on those who thought he could never make it as far. I smell a giant under loose for the title though.

5. Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes

What the hell. He had a match?! I’M KEPT IN THE DARK!

6. WWE Champion: CM Punk

Well la-di-da. Of course, here is your WWE Champion, CM PUNK. Best match of the night, in my opinion. I mean, he was handcuffed twice – and one of those was to a turnbuckle – and he escaped BOTH times! It was a brutal match. And Punk survived it all. And he’s STILL our WWE Champion, so ha-ha on you and your dethronement attempts, Funkman. And with this, CM Punk leads a revolution with his friends.

So what’s going to happen when you’ve got two so-called “indy schmucks” on top of the WWE food chain? Seeing the main event picture on last night’s RAW made me guffaw just a bit. On one side, we had CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, and Zack Ryder, and on another were Miz, Del Rio, and Dolph Ziggler. So… this is what had become of the WWE. Very nice. I have a feeling that we’re not going to see much of the Cena’s and Triple H’s and Rock’s in the season.

Kudos to independent wrestling. NYWC. ROH. GLORY. Take over.

Muppet Sightings!

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The Muppets came to RAW this week, which, I think, was one of the best things that happened on the show. If you missed the show, here are a few Muppet sightings that cannot be missed.

  • Miss Piggy calling Jack Swagger “Frankenstein”
  • Kermit assuming Vickie Guerrero to be Jack Swagger’s “mother”
  • An “Excuse Me” with matching chest-shoving bout between the original diva, Miss Piggy and Vickie Guerrero
  • Kelly Kelly planting a smooch on Kermit while Miss Piggy grew livid
  • Sheamus saving Beaker from Christian
  • Sheamus asking Beaker to say hi to a certain Aunt Teresa because he “can’t make the family reunion this year” (we always knew it)
  • Christian still carrying Beaker’s beaker when he was already walking away from the scene
  • SHEAMUS STYLING BEAKER’S HAIR SHEAMUS-STYLE!
  • Statler and Waldorf getting exclusive seats on RAW (and Michael Cole getting repulsed by their uncanny likeness to King and JR)
  • Gonzo getting his arm pulled out by Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler (with Vickie Guerrero’s evil laughter haunting behind)
  • Fozzie believing that he had seen a wrestler so huge that he has his own zip code
  • Animal as special timekeeper was so cute!
  • Beaker finally handing Santino the “special formula” that Dr. Bunsen Honeydew concocted, allowing Santino to win his match against Swagger
  • HORNSWOGGLE GETTING A MOVE ON MISS PIGGY
  • Cody Rhodes bagging Kermit the Frog
  • Miss Piggy checking out John Morrison’s six-pack

And so much more. Great turn of events for RAW this week. John Cena even got to take home a Scream mask after all. But, my favorite was when CM Punk locked the Anaconda Vise on Alberto del Rio after informing del Rio that he, in fact will. He’s an awesome man, that CM Punk.

Alberto, I need you to comprehend this. I know you’re a little discombobulated right now, but I need you to process what’s about to happen to you. What’s about to happen to you is I’m going to ask you a question. It’s a simple yes or no answer, but I have a feeling that you are going to say yes because prior to me asking you this question, I’m going to twist you like a pretzel into a move that I’d like to call the Anaconda Vise so are you with me? Can you hear me? And I’m not gonna let go until you say yes or si to giving me my match at Survivor Series.

A Year Without ‘Kharma’

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Holy crap, Kharma speaks! As you might imagine, I was actually ecstatic to hear Kharma’s message this past past Monday night on RAW, after that unexpected meltdown she had last week. I thought she was going to list out all her targets and say something about capturing the women’s belt soon. But Kharma actually went from very dangerous to very… human. Here’s what she had to say. And I think what Kharma fanatics are about to read will utterly surprise them.

“You know, ever since I was a kid, I had two dreams. And the first was to become a WWE superstar. Everyone said that me standing here in front of you was impossible. I then went out for Season 2 of Tough Enough, and Jim Ross told me that I was too… fat to ever be a WWE Diva. I took his words, I packed them up and I took them across the ocean to Japan where I scrubbed the floors of wrestling dojos in exchange for training to become a wrestling master. I then moved on to every wrestling promotion in every dank, stank corner of the world from here to Denver. Until finally, my dream came true. This year, WWE bade me welcome. My other dream, it’s a little bit more personal – I, like many other girls and women, have always wanted to be a mother. And I will – because I am currently with child. Unfortunately for me, this is a high-risk preganancy and I cannot compete or do anything physical or risk losing my child. But I will be back. I just want to thank all of you for letting me share my dream. I’ll be back.”

I like Kharma. Ever since she came to the WWE, I’ve been a fan. She’s amazing, and she just keeps me desiring for more. But I have to be honest. I don’t think that Kharma should have explained herself. It was rather odd hearing her on RAW. I never imagined her to speak in those terms. And she even shared her hardships for the business. It could have been her retirement or HOF speech. I think though that it would have been more intriguing if she kept to herself for a year – never mind us fans who will be in a great deal of wonder. It sounded odd, really, hearing her on RAW. Now, her while vicious facade is destroyed. The Bellas definitely didn’t seem much too intimidated anymore.

Anyway, because of Kharma’s mention of Jim Ross, fans started to take pot shots at the Hall of Famer. So Kharma posted this entry in her blog to avoid further taciturn insults to good ole JR:

So much for that. I really like Kharma, and I wish her all the best. I’ll be waiting a year for her return.

Thank You, Adam Copeland

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On this day, I proudly wore my Edge T-shirt to ALSH, partly because I had hoped to strike a conversation with Jimmy, who as I discovered on his Facebook profile, is also a fanatic of the WWE. But partly, I also wore it because of its design. I thought it looked wonderful with my yellow skinny jeans. Yellow for Edge’s hair of course. It’s not an authentic Edge shirt, but it’s still something.

Then I went home, turned on the TV for Monday Night RAW. At around 9:15 in the evening, Edge came out. Then, he announced that he was going to retire.

😦

And what bothered me more is that this happened four days ago, yet I only got to know it now due a damaged computer and the delay in airing here in my country. And, I never really got to see Edge live in any of the shows they displayed here, and that I may never at all. It was unexpected, and too sudden, and dang, I never saw it coming. That’s what hurt the most. And how ironic, that it was also the day that I decided to wear this T-shirt that I found out? Ah, it’s just a sad story that I want to share.

But, Edge, you didn’t let anyone down. If it’s for the good of you to leave, then so be it. I really cried when you were on the ramp, and your music hit, and you did your signature pose. My adoration for you is no such secret. I hope you get to be better and that you are happy whatever may be the outcome of this incident. Truly, you are the person who inspires me the most. Thank you, Edge. Thank you for being the Ultimate Opportunist. Thank you for the entertainment. Thank you, simply. Imagine that! You are going to retire as World Champion. As JR puts it, “No cliché, you will surely be missed”.

Pahinga ka lang.

You have to bear with me just a little bit. I’m probably ramble and not make much sense, but please bear with me. A lot of people think that the WWE doesn’t hurt. That what we do maybe some smoking mirrors and, and I wish that were true. But anybody in that locker room, anybody who has ever stepped up in here, laced up a pair of boots know that that’s not the case. Which brings me to what I am about to tell you.

Eight years ago, I broke my neck. It was spinal fusion surgery which means that they move your throat over, they put a plate in there and screws. It was really in-depth surgery. But because of that surgery, I knew that I was wrestling on borrowed time from that point on. So fast forward, and the last little while, I’ve been in a lot of pain. I’ve been losing feeling in my arms. So, I passed a strength test and all of those things and I made it to Wrestlemania. But the WWE showed that I need to get more tests. And thankfully I did because the MRI showed that I have to retire. I mean, trust me it’s not my choice. The doctors have told me that I have no choice. And, thankfully, they found out because I’m not gonna end up in a wheelchair now.

Uh.. he he. This is a little bit tougher than I thought it was gonna be.

So you know, thank you, guys. Ha ha, well I tell you, this has been an emotional rollercoaster of a week for me. And I’m not gonna lie: I felt sorry for myself until I talked to Christian. And for those of you who don’t know, Christian has been my best friend for 27 years. And you see, I was angry. I was angry at myself, I was angry at my body because I felt like there’s a lot of people in the company that depend on me, and I felt that I was letting them down. I felt like I was letting you guys down. But then, you know, I was upset too because I didn’t feel that I was doing this on my terms. But then he reminded me that I’ve competed my whole career on my terms.

You know, I’m still like all of you. I am a huge fan of the WWE. Every month, Christian and I would go to Maple Leaf Garden, and we would watch all of our favorites. We would watch The Legion of Doom. We’ve watched Demolition. We’ve watched Hulk Hogan. We’d watch all of them and just be enthralled. Then I went to Wrestlemania 6, and I watched Hulk Hogan against The Ultimate Warrior. And I said, ‘I’m doing this one day’. And you know what? Fast-forward a bunch of years later and I’m main-eventing Wrestlemania against The Undertaker. There’s no way I ever would have dreamed about it. There’s no way when you told me when I was 11 years old that I was going to win more championships than anyone else in the history of this company. No way I would have believe it. And if you had told me that my last match would be at Wrestlemania, one of the main events, defending the World Heavyweight Championship, and that I’d be retiring as the World Heavyweight Champion, man I couldn’t dream of a better way to go out. I really couldn’t.

You know, I started in the WWE when I was 23. I mean, I’ve been doing this for 19 years, 14 of them with the WWE. My first match was May 10, 1996, Hamilton Cups Colisseum, and I was 23 years old. And I feel that I’ve grown up in front of all of you. I feel like I’ve made a lot of mistakes in front of you. I learned and I’ve become a man in front of you. I’ve gone from being the silent guy running around the streets of New York with a trench coat that was way too small for him to a pseudo-vampire in the brood to one of the funny, goofy guys with Christian for the benefit of those with flash photography. I became one of the most despised guys in the history of the WWE. As a matter of fact, I got thrown into the Long Island South. I’d a live sex celebration – thankfully with Lita and not with Vickie Guerrero. And I would hope that through it all, I’ve earned the respect of everyone in that locker room. And I hope that I’ve earned all of your respect. Because no matter what, no matter what, I came out here and I tried to give you guys as much as I had every single night. And in turn, you guys gave it right back to me.

So I’m gonna miss all of this – all of it. I’m gonna miss that reaction, when my music hits and I come out on the ramp. It’s like a shot of adrenaline straight to the heart from you guys. And it’s amazing, I can’t describe it. But with that being said, I don’t have to wear tights tomorrow, and I’m gonna eat a whole lot of ice cream tonight.

But, if you ask me, if I would do all of these again, all the way back from getting hired by JR, if you ask me if I’d travel all the roads, log all the miles, hop on all the flights, all the sleepless nights, all the surgeries, all the injuries, the metal rods in my teeth, all of it – if you ask me if i’d do it again… in a heartbeat. So, thank you. Thank you very much.

SHUT UP, MICHAEL COLE.

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I can’t stand you.

I favor heels most of the time, yet I can’t stand you.


In the WWE, there are always two sides of the coin: the face (the good guy) and the heel (the bad guy). Well I guess there are also tweeners and neutrals, but they can take the edge of the coin. Unless you don’t want them beautiful men who make very good points, I suggest you pick the primarily mentioned. I, for one, have always favored heels. Up until last year, I never thought that I would ever dislike a heel, but that all changed when NXT started airing. Out of the blue, there came a repetitive voice putting up boorish remarks at the commentator’s table, and it just kept getting worse and even louder each week. And indeed, it was no one other than Michael Cole. I never liked Michael Cole as a face, and I certainly never like him more now as heel. Then, it was okay for everybody to make fun of him and he was nice about it, and it was entertaining. But now, I hear him each week and it’s been a pain in the ass so far. I always feel as though I should turn down the volume of the TV every time I watch RAW because I am annoyed hearing him brag about his accomplishments as the “Voice of the WWE” and how he stands up with alacrity every time The Miz comes out to the ring. He claps and praises and does every other annoying thing. He then discourages Jerry Lawler, telling King that he’ll never be champion for as long as he’s in the WWE and all that shit. It’s not that I’m such a big fan of King and that I expect him to win always. It’s the putting-off part that really frustrates me. He talks about his fellow commentators wanting the spotlight for themselves; how cunning and greedy they are – when, in fact, he’s just referring to himself. Like, if there’s a microphone there, he should grab it, but he’s on lapel anyway, so he doesn’t have to. Just dab and talk and complain and do whatever else he can with his voice. My dislike for him of course only tells me that perhaps he is a really great heel for giving me that irate emotion. Well, sure, there’s always that thought, but sometimes, I also never know what being a heel is anymore. And in his case, I can no longer tell the difference between a heel and pesky suck-up sycophant. I feel that if he just shuts up for a second, it will be okay to watch RAW. Sometimes, he’d comment on a match as he always did before NXT came along, and it’d feel great because I really miss that monotony of his. I truly, sincerely wish that he’s not in every WWE show, and that it were JR there, and not him next, to King. He dubs himself as a very important figure in the WWE, but for some reason, I find that untrue. I sometimes wonder, with all the shenanigans he is causing, if ‘quitting his job’ is part of his bucket list, and if he’s about to check that one soon. If it is, I wonder how much sooner I am going to wait.

Fraternity=Sorority

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I’m over here – on that big screen you were gonna jump off of. It’s amazing because we just saw uh, an act of a delusional phony. You are completely gutless, tasteless, spineless, classless, and your cronies are pantless. You’re insincere, incompetent and incontinent. You’re uncool, you’re unprofessional and unengaging. You’re low-budget, low-crap, low-class, and low-rent. And on top of that, you are wasting everyone’s time. Why would you bother giving The New Nexus a physical initiation? I’ve already given them one! You see, I said I would get my hands on each and every member of The Nexus and I did – wait, that’s not true, there’s one member, a new member that I hadn’t quite got the chance to initiate. That’s you, CM Sucks. Next week, CM Sucks faces John Cena in a match. Next week on RAW, you and me in a match… you see, all those things you’ve been saying about me, they’re right. If you provoke me I am the most animalistic, brutal, violent, physical man on the planet. That means, next week, you get dealt with. As sure as I wear purple and the sun rises in the morning, you get dealt with! Because next week on RAW, it aint about T-shirts or armbands. It’s about me whooping your ass.

😮

That’s right. Words of a livid John Cena. I’ve been wondering all week long if it is time for me to put up shocking words straight from wrestlers’ mouths. Come to think of it, I haven’t done that yet. And the reason why I haven’t is simply because the show has been WWE-PG before I even began this blog. Well that right there, came from John Cena himself. Mark it: January 10, 2011 (January 13 on Jack TV) – this week, I saw a token. And I have never been happier watching Monday Night RAW.

The statement written above was addressed to CM Punk and his fraternity. And trust me, I never really saw Nexus for a fraternity until just this week. It would seem as though CM Punk is much more mocking when it comes to leading The New Nexus. He begins his administration with an impromptu initiation. It wasn’t pretty, and not everyone in Nexus accepted the deed, but for the gullible ones (I’m looking at you, McGillicutty, Harris, and Otunga), this night definitely left a mark – or marks rather.

The first initiation was of Michael McGillicutty, who the members of The New Nexus preyed on and beat in the middle of the ring. Poor Michael. But how stupid too. It was sweet of them to carry him back to the locker room though. I surmise from the way that he still managed to come out for Cena’s address, they didn’t really do him that much damage.

The second initiation is for Husky Harris, who was given three lashings by each member. This was not shown on Jack TV. Either that, or this scene was not televised at all. Whichever, had I not gone to WWE.com, I would not have seen this. Husky’s initiation, according to King, is the stupidest thing he’s ever seen. And frankly, I agree. This gave me the impression of The Nexus being a boyhood fraternity. I cringed throughout, wondering if the anti-Nexuses were gleeful with this event, or just as lackadaisical towards Husky Harris.

Alas! – being the weakest and least experienced in the group, it was David Otunga who received the most unequittable initiation. He had a match with The Big Show. I find it “unfair” because none of the members of The Nexus got to hurt him like they did Harris and McGillicutty – yet, he got to hurt them! It was as though The Big Show couldn’t even care less. Otunga got through it all right – not half as bad as the first two. But it didn’t make much difference, I mean we’re talking about David Otunga.

On behalf of everybody else, I have to say that it was rather awkward having to anticipate Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater hit each other with candlesticks. Gabriel and Slater are not only the most human among all members of The Nexus, they are also the most connected. They’ve been friends for quite some time now, and we all know that neither of these guys will hurt each other (bromance and all). Besides, they shouldn’t even dislike Wade Barrett because Wade treasured these guys. Wade even made them tag champs. As I expected, the two turned to CM Punk as though ready to hit him instead, but then refrained from doing so. Like the sensible men that they are, they dropped the sticks and walked away.

The last initiation of course was for the leader himself, CM Punk. Just when we thought that he was going to commit career suicide (let alone just suicide) by jumping off the tron, he abstained, laughing his heart out. It was smart of him to do that, yet people called him a “phony” because of this. Well, he’s not half as daring as the other high-risk superstars, but he’s intelligent and stable, and that’s a good characteristic too. 🙂

At the end of the day, The New Nexus stood with four members, which is not so bad for a new management. I expect that they won’t stand too long like the Straight Edge Society. Nice T-shirts, by the way. Oh, and I hear there’s going to be an additional member soon. Yay…